Hello Family,
Blessings, love, and peace to you and your family.
Blessings, love, and peace to you and your family.
If you know Roland, you know he was all about fitness. Before I knew who Roland was, I would see him running in different places around the city. I saw him quite often, running or he could have been jogging. I just know he was ever present. As time went on, I met Roland at a line dance class. I started attending his classes regularly and following him to different events where he would lead the line dancing or teach it. My husband called me a groupie. As time went on, I learned that Roland had a whole exercise program. He was going to schools, senior centers and everywhere to help people keep moving. He was always on the move, because so many people wanted him to do their family reunion, wedding, school event, church event, and the list goes on. He was loved, admired and looked up to by so many people. I love you Roland. I will miss you, as well as, so many others. Rest in Heaven Roland! Roland passed on Saturday, October 14, 2023 at 8:30 AM.
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I got a new attitude. Thinking about and looking at the awesomeness of God I'm realizing more and more how much He loves me/us and how well he takes care of us.
Every day I have to shake my head and say, "God you are amazing." Sometimes, I just laugh in amazement on how well God takes care of me. Don't think I'm just talking about material things. He takes care of situations. It could be something that you got yourself in or it could be a situation that somebody put you in, but he always works it out. I just shake my head, smile and say God you are too much, thank you. If you are of the generation before Cartoon Network you may remember Underdog, the cartoon character. There was a saying on the show, "there's no need to fear, Underdog is here." Now, don't get me wrong, I'm not in any way comparing God to Underdog. What I am saying is, there is no need to fear, because God is here. Guess what He's always here/there. Whatever, your situation or circumstance He's present. You have to trust that He will take care of the situation. You have to let him handle it or let Him instruct you on what to do. Just remember, there's no need to fear, because God is always near. Once upon a time, when I was a child at the age of eleven or twelve, living in Erie, PA , going to McKinley Elementary School, this is what happened.
I believe it was on Fridays that my sixth-grade teacher, Mr. McClean would give us a math quiz. On that day he wanted us to put on our math thinking caps and get busy to solve about 40 to 50 math problems. After taking the quiz, if you were in the top two to finish first, you would get a prize, which was a nice sized chocolate candy bar. We were handed a piece of yellow paper, perforated at the top with the green lines, then instructed to turn to the back of the math book and copy down the practice quiz. Well, time after time, we had these quizzes: addition, subtraction, division and multiplication. Time after time, I wasn’t a part of the winner’s circle to get one of the coveted chocolate candy bars. I don’t know, if they was coveted by my fellow students, but they were by me. After every quiz the coveted chocolate candy bars went to Linda and to Margret. Not only were Linda and Margret the smartest kids in the class; they were pretty, popular and in charge of stuff. Plus, they were white girls. Being poor, black, feeling ugly and worthless, I thought that made them better than me. I couldn’t do anything about them being white, smart, popular and pretty, but I came up with a way to win. (Oh, I just remembered, the teacher was giving away Nestle Crunch candy bars as the prize for being the first or second to complete the math quiz). This was my plan. I took my math book home and copied down the practice quiz on a piece of that perforated at the top, yellow paper with the green lines. The next quiz was coming up soon, which was multiplication. I wrote down all of the problems, then the answers. I put the completed sheet with all of the answers in my math book and geared up to win one of those Nestle Crunch bars. It was the day of the quiz. After the teacher passed out the paper, I wrote down all of the quiz problems on that paper. After some time had passed, I took out my sheet, that I had prepared at home ahead of time with all of the problems and the answers to the problems and switched them. Bam, I raised my hand. I was finished before Linda and before Margret. To the teacher’s surprise and probably to Linda and Margret’s too, I was finished, and I finished before Linda and before Margaret. I was happy! I finally got one of those Nestle Crunch bars. I was good! Time for the next quiz rolled around. Since my little deceitful plan worked so well, I thought I would try it again. I wrote down all of the problems and answers at home, ahead of time, as before. I slipped the golden ticket to my next Nestle Crunch candy bar into my math book. This time it was division, but that didn’t matter, because I was prepared. Well, things didn’t go quite as I had planned. When the class was away from the classroom, we were probably all lined up going to the lavatory, the teacher went in my desk. He looked in my math book and found my golden ticket for the next prize. When the class came back from the lavatory, he called me to his desk. He questioned me about the already completed math quiz. I told him that that was the sheet that I was practicing on at home. I never confessed to him and I don’t recall ever telling anyone about this cheating scandal until now. I never thought about honesty being the best policy, in this situation, until now. Now, it makes me wonder how things would have turned out, if I had confessed to my teacher and told him that I had lied and cheated? I cheated and I lied. Even though I finally got one of those Nestle Crunch candy bars, did I really win? What Will You Say About Yourself? A few years ago while at work, a client ask me, "are you always this quiet?" My reply, "I think I am, but you may need to ask someone else for a second opinion."
The person with the second opinion said, "she's quiet, but effective." I was quite surprised, to say the least. I must also say, that I felt good about it. Knowing that what I had to say was being heard by someone else. Let me say this, please know that people are watching and listening to us while being influenced by what we say and do, be it good or bad. The last thing is, be your best self. Are You A Servant? One day a few years ago, I was wondering why I am the way that I am. I was wondering, why I do the things that I do.
The answer that I came up with is, the personality and character that God gave me. The characteristics that seem to stand out, I think are God given. God gave me the heart of a servant. That is my lot in life, a servant. One that will serve for no pay, no reward or recognition. One that will give everything wholeheartedly. One that will give to anyone in need regardless of age, race, religion, education, or gender. That's a servant and that is what I do. There have been times when I've tried not to be in the servant role, but I wasn't very successful. My eyes and heart always pick up on the radar coming from someone in need. I know I can't help everyone solve every problem. I wish I could. I have learned that I have to be directed by the Lord on who to help, but it's hard because I would like to help everyone, even some of my enemies. It came to me that when people are specious of me and think that I want something from them when I extend kindness or do a good deed, that just may be my cross to bear. We all have them. That cross may never go away, because I'll always meet new people and people will always need something. It's a hard cross to bear, because all I want to do is to help and love people. Are you a servant? THE TIME HAS COME
The time has come for me to move along. To move to the next assignment, the next location, the next task, the next movement or calling, the next group of people that I will influence or who will influence, encourage and support me. I did my best, I’ve learned a lot. I met some new people and a new way to do some things. I’ve laughed, I’ve cried, I’ve made mistakes and did some things well. I tried to encourage, uplift and support, but if I fell short please forgive me, because I really did try. I'm not sure about what’s coming next or who or when. I just know that God has a plan for me, for my life, just for me. Whatever that is I’m sure it will be amazing, because God takes us from glory to glory. I’m open to His leading and guiding, because he has the perfect plan for me. He doesn’t make mistakes and I trust Him. I’m ready God, do your thing. I'm wondering and wondering why I am the way that I am.
Why do I do the things that I do. Is the answer because this the personality that God gave me. The character and the characteristics that stand out are God given. The gift and the attitude of a servant. Is that my lot in life? One who will work for no reward or recognition. One that will give wholeheartedly. One that will give to anyone regardless of age, race, finances, education, gender or religion. Am I a servant or am I a fool? There's been times when I tried not to be in the servant role. I usually don't escape it, because my eyes and heart always take me to the situation where I am to serve. I know I can't help everybody solve every problem that they have, but I am here to do my part. I have to be directed by the Holy Spirit on who to help or not. It's hard because, my heart is tugged on to help, even my enemies. Sometimes people are suspicious of me and wonder what I'm really after when I treat them kind and do good deeds for them, for no reason. That is my cross in life to bear, we all have them. It's never going to change, because I'll always meet new people and do more good deeds. People may not trust me and think ain't nobody that nice. Maybe I won't have to bear this cross forever, but if I do it's ok. Wondering, am I a good servant. Today I got the opportunity to wake up again. As did you, since you are reading this. I love spending time with the Lord in prayer or in silence.
I'll give the Lord praise, pray, sing, read or sit quietly and listen for the spirit of God. If He doesn't say anything, it's just wonderful and peaceful to sit in the presence of God. It's something you must experience. I tell you it's addictive, at least it is for me. I can't wait until I get that quiet time again, alone. The house is totally silent from human voices, interruptions, sounds of phones ringing or televisions playing. Just quiet. Just God and me. Spend some time with Him if you can. Oh, what a precious gift I had when I would get up early every morning around 3:00 AM. I would pray and read the bible, do laundry, cook dinner, clean or whatever needed to be done in the house. Early morning was my time. I could think clearly. It was quiet and peaceful. I could get some things accomplished before the family got up. I would be on a roll.
Well, situations changed, people changed and I changed. After getting up automatically at that tiime (for years) I just got tired of getting up at what some would say is such an ungodly hour. I fussed and complained; God why do I have to wake up at 3:00 o'clock in the morning while everybody else gets to sleep in. I'm tired of getting up so early. I want to get up when everybody else gets up. I want to have a normal sleeping habit like most other people. I don't like this at all. I bet you can guess what happened. It was taken away. No longer would I wake up at 3:00. My prayer life changed, my life changed and I changed and it wasn't for the best. It was a problem and God being God, knew everybody else in my house would up. There was always distractions and noise. It wasn't the same, the silence and the quiet was gone. I said one day, after I realized the error of my ways, "Lord I want that time back. The quiet, peaceable silent time that I would come before you." The next morning the Lord woke me up at 4:00 AM, (I really do think God has a sense of humor). I went to the bathroom, got back in the bed and I said, 'Lord I'll start tomorrow. Oh, how wicked is the heart, how weak is the flesh. Lord help my unbelief. I thought, I know you will restore me to where I once was and even more so, because now I will appreciate and realize what I had. I decided, that I would get up every morning at the time that I wanted to, which was 6;00 AM, when some other people in the world may be up (not realizing what a special thing I had). Well guess what. I struggled to get up at 6:00 even 6:30 and wondered, Lord what's wrong with me? I couldn't get up without a struggle. So I said again, 'Lord what is wrong?". It dawned on me I was trying to wake myself up and had rejected God's tender finger waking me up to spend quiet time with Him and to get my day started with peace and quiet. I didn't realize what a precious gift this was, God waking me up to spend time in His presence. The saying goes, you don't miss your water until your well runs dry and my well was truly dry. When I realized what had happened I tried to get it back, but I couldn't. God had to bring it back. I have a new hunger and thirst for God and His righteousness and a deep yearning to do what's right and pleasing in His sight. I'll see where this leads since I'm ready and SO WILLING to get up early to spend time in the presence of Almighty God. God I'm ready for the intimacy, wisdom and love that you will share with me now. Thank you for your grace and mercy. Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge Him and He shall direct thy paths. Be not wise in thine own eyes; fear the Lord and depart from evil. Proverbs 3:5-7 There has been an awakening, a revival, a renewal in my mind and spirit. My wings have been clipped. I’ve been set free, free to live and to live much more abundantly free to be the awesome me He created me to be, but for sure with humility and with respect for who He is and for what He has done and is doing in me. Fear vanishing and confidence reappearing and knowing that I am enough the way He created me. But knowing that He is molding and shaping me to fulfill my purpose in life. Not worrying about what people think because they don’t understand the plan that God has for me, because I’m just beginning to understand myself. Not worrying about what people are doing or not doing because God has a plan for their life also and He will guide them through their process. Let Him and them work it out. Pray for their strength, wisdom and peace but, let them live their life. Not to wait for or look for approval from anyone to do things the way you see in your heart that need to be done. Not to try and do things the way someone else does because that’s their way. Not to wait for or look for approval to be me. And not to try and be somebody else because that’s impossible. Why would you want to because God made me and made them who they are. It’s called diversity, he made us all different. Knowing that I’m good enough. Good enough to be here, here in this place, at this income, with these people, with my knowledge, wisdom, input, impact, understanding, love compassion, concern, help and brilliance. Who knew? God because that’s the way He created me: brillent, talented, smart, funny, healthy, loving, kind, a wife, mother, friend, sister and His beloved child. I am enough. Coming to the knowledge that I am made in the image of Almighty God and that’s important. Realizing that I’m not perfect, I don’t have to be and I never will be. All I have to do is be the best me. Realizing that I don’t have to do anything to be seen or heard, because whoever needs to see me or hear me God will have them in the right place and at the right time. He will set the stage. All I have to do is be me, Just me, without, an extra performance, without showboating, without making a scene or showing out or trying to show someone up. Your gifts will make room for you. That’s what the word of God says in Proverbs 18:16. Leave it to Him. He’ll do a much better job. Don’t be TOO BIG or too small, just regular, just you. Your future is bright with promise. Actually the future is now. So now is also a magnificent place to be. So rest in the Lord, be at peace and He’ll give you the desires of your heart. Live, Live and I say Live. Enjoy life. That’s what’s suppose to happen. It can happen every day. Just allow yourself to go there, to be there, to feel it and enjoy it. Amen Realizing that I don’t have to be jealous or envious because God made me good enough. And what’s for me will come to me if I live, if I apply myself, if I believe, if I have, just have the faith of the grain of a mustard seed. Life can, will be and is good. I love loving, blessing and helping and really that’s all of our life’s purpose. SING, DANCE, PRAY, PRAISE, PLAY, WORK, COMMUNICATE, LOVE, LIVE, GIVE, SHARE, LISTEN. BE YOU, THE BEST YOU! Written June 2, 2017 It is just amazing to me that the words that I wrote almost three years ago are resounding in my heart and mind as if I just wrote them. Whatever, your truth is hold that in your heart and live it.
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